Hard 1, or Hard 2?
Which way, Western man??
People love to say “life is hard!”, and it is! The nuance within the statement, I think, is that there are multiple different kinds of hard, and that we all have some level of say in which Hard we choose.
Recently, in my little corner of the internet, it’s become a trend to observe generally annoying, whiny, unhealthy people slowly realize that the only way to actually become healthy is to exercise, eat a balanced (and limited) diet, and get healthy sleep each night. The biohackers and corner cutters have officially tried everything under the sun, and come to the conclusion that ya just gotta run/lift/sauna. Butthole sunning and religiously avoiding seed oils is no replacement for hard work folks.
Exercise and dedication is the way.
It does bring up a broader question about life, though. How does one deal with the fact that life is, in fact, hard as shit? How does one make their life “easier”, to the degree that you can?
I argue that life is all sliding scales and varying degrees, very few black or whites. You basically just need to find the correct balance for you, as a unique individual. Everyone is different, and we are all predisposed to be better (or worse) at different actions and habits. If you can find a way to maximize the time spent on actions which you outperform others on, and minimize time spent on things that cost you more than others, you’ll “create” a sort of “easier” life. In a way. Life is still exceptionally difficult, you’re just taking advantage of your particular hardware.
We also get to choose our “Hard” here in the first world, to a much higher degree than most other places in the world.
That means both sides of the coin, both (all) options, are difficult in most circumstances, in different ways. It’s extremely difficult to be massively overweight, and drowning in medical bills. It’s also exceptionally difficult to stay in great shape, while balancing a family, kids, work, and hobbies. You get to choose your Hard.
And make no mistake, you should choose. There is no opt out, no quit button, and very few second chances. You choose, or the choice is made for you, against your will.
I don’t think the difficulty of general human life comes from any one thing in particular, but instead a boatload of small things that simply eat away at your ability to manage stress all day, over and over and over. If you were able to attack every single task in your life from a position of 100% rest and energy, most of life would be quite simple, and easy. The difficulty comes from the wear and tear, the cost.
That’s also why amphetamines like Adderall, or opioids like heroin are so unbelievably addictive. They make life fun, fluffy, and exciting! They give you the horrifyingly convincing illusion that you can just take this *thing*, get really happy, and then life will be easy! It’s all false. Energy is earned, and a healthy mindset demands intense training, every single day.
When it comes to making these difficult decisions, I personally ask myself what the other side of the particular Hard in front of me is.
“Boy, I really don’t want to do all this work today”. Well, being poor is extremely hard, and much more stressful. Does the pain of making a few phone calls, and spending a couple hours grinding outweigh the pain of going broke, being forced to rely on public services, and not being able to eat nice things?
“I’m tired, I worked hard all day, I don’t need to work out”. Instead of losing a pound, sweating out toxins, and recharging my brain, I’ve now added more junk to my body that will make tomorrow even more difficult.
It is with the greatest humility and love in my heart that I urge you to take command, and choose your Hard. I can’t read minds, but it sure feels like there are very few people actively thinking about this on a daily basis.
Quick side road before we wrap up…
The Men vs. Women debate, and all of its subsequent arguments, are as old as modern civilization itself (so like, maybe 200 years..?). Humans are hard wired to compare and contrast, often times for sport. The quirk that comes along with it is that we color everything with both our own experience, and our own circumstances. So there’s literally an endless combination of opinions, arguments, rebuttals, and wins/losses. It’s incredible. X is just a place for millions of people to come argue the life out of everything on.
But I digress.
We love to argue who “has it harder”, particularly guys vs. girls. The truth is, there’s really no correct answer. Some men “have it worse” than the average woman, and some women “have it worse” than your typical man. While it’s fun, it’s a dumb argument with no happy endings (women don’t like losing fellas. Even when you win, you lose, take notes).
We spend so much time arguing who has the worse Hard, that we ignore our own internal decisions on personal Hards. The truth is, it’s much more fun to talk about and pick apart someone else’s life than it is to take a good hard look at our own choices. We’re surrounded by *noise*, constant and incessant noise, just blocking out the ability to sit and think. Without that blessed silence, it becomes infinitely harder to unpack and analyze our own lives. Seek silence a few times a week, and watch everything get clearer.
The next time you hear that high pitched little voice in your head telling you that it’s perfectly fine to skip the gym today, remember how lucky you are that you get to choose your own Hard.
Then go to the gym.